


Longing to Linger Til Dawn

by eeveestho



Series: Yakulev Week 2015 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, implied fictional self-harm, mentions of fictional character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 22:46:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4367132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeveestho/pseuds/eeveestho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times that Lev woke Yaku up from a nightmare, and one time that Yaku woke Lev up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Longing to Linger Til Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> yakulev week: day 1 - dreams

i.

Waking up Yaku was a near-impossible task for the average person. Many had tried -- friends, family, teachers, strangers on public transit -- but few had succeeded . When the Nekoma team went to training camp, it was common for Yaku to wake up completely alone; everyone else had already woken up and had given up on trying to rouse him.

Which was why, when he was shaken awake one night at training camp, he was more confused than anything.

He blinked the sleep out of his eyes, frowning deeply at the blur as his eyes struggled to focus in the dim light of the room. When they did finally focus, his scowl did not fade: Lev was staring at him, his eyebrows knitted together above his pale eyes.

Yaku grunted questioningly in Lev’s direction.

“I had a nightmare,” Lev whined, his voice high and tremulous. “You were dead. I had to make sure you were still alive. And you sleep so still, I was worried... I couldn’t tell if you were breathing, Yaku!”

He blinked. “I’m alive.”

He sagged a bit into his futon, his creased eyebrows relaxing. “Okay. Good.”

“Can I go back to sleep now?”

“Yes! Thank you!” Lev beamed at him, far too bright for so late an hour.

Yaku let out a heavy sigh into the still night air, and rolled over to face away from Lev, feeling distinctly annoyed but also vaguely flattered that Lev had been so alarmed. He had been growing closer to his teammate and Yaku fancied himself a sort of mentor. It was nice to feel... needed.

What he didn’t realize, as he was drifting off to sleep with Lev’s smile still in his mind’s eye, was how this kind of awakening was going to become a pattern in his life.

 

ii.

It had to be the heat, Yaku thought as he lay awake in bed, naked except for a tank top and boxers. His blankets had been thrown violently off his bed sometime around 2am. They hadn’t been touching Yaku’s body -- they were scrunched up against the wall in case he wanted something to reach out for in the night -- but after three hours of lying awake in bed, he decided that their mere presence was offending and had chucked them somewhere in the direction of his desk.

The only reason he noticed his cellphone blinking with a new text message was because he was so horribly sweaty and achingly awake.

Deciding he had nothing better to do with his time anyways, he rolled over onto his side to grab it and read it.

 

[To: Yaku Morisuke]

[From: Haiba Lev]

[Subj: U awake? :(]

[hey yaku-san i had another nightmare but didnt want 2 call u if ur asleep... u awake??]

 

He supposed he was. And he supposed texting Lev wouldn’t, in theory, keep him awake any longer. In theory.

 

[To: Haiba Lev]

[From: Yaku Morisuke]

[Subj: Yeah]

[You okay?]

 

About 30 seconds passed before the screen of his phone lit up again, this time with an incoming call from Lev. The picture assigned to his contact, of Lev sweaty from volleyball practice but still beaming radiantly at the camera, popped onto the screen. Yaku found himself smiling fondly, if tiredly, at it, before answering the phone.

“Hello?”

Lev’s voice, small, tinny, and scared, came through the speaker. “Did I wake you up?”

He sighed into the receiever. “No, I can’t fall asleep. ‘S too hot. Air conditioner broke.”

“Oh. That’s good!” There was a pause, barely enough time for Yaku to take a breath. “I mean, not that your air conditioner is broken. Or that you can’t sleep.”

“Yeah, I get it, I get it.” He frowned a little at himself. He needed to work on not being crabby when he was tired. Yaku closed his eyes for a moment, rallying his kindness, and spoke again. “You said you had a nightmare? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it...” He was quiet on the other side of the phone for a moment, trailing off mid-sentence. Cold dread trickled down his spine. Silence from Lev was incredibly rare, and even more incredibly worrying.

“Was it like before?” Yaku pressed. “At training camp?”

“Yeah. Kinda.”

This reticence was seriously unnerving. “Kinda?”

There was another pause. “You... weren’t dead.”

“...So, nothing like that dream then?”

“You were telling me you hated me. And that I was disgusting. And to never speak to you again.” The words came all at once, sounding tight and choked-off.

Yaku’s jaw dropped open. Him being dead would be better.

He took a breath to speak, but Lev kept talking. Now that his verbal dam had burst open, the words flowed fast and tearful. “And I wasn’t going to text you because I was scared that you were just going to tell me that my dream was right and that you _did_ hate me and think I was disgusting and all that but I also... You would never say that to me, Yaku? Right? You wouldn’t.”

He had never heard such fear in Lev’s voice. Not when Kuroo threatened to make him run 50 laps if he missed another receive, not when Shibayama suggested they go see the newest slasher movie together, not even when they went to that haunted house. At that time, Lev had gripped onto Yaku’s wrist so hard that it had hurt. But, it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the ache in his chest did now.

“ _No_ ,” he said, emphatically, honestly. “I would never. Lev, I would never tell you any of that. Because it’s not true.”

“You don’t hate me.” It was more of a confirmation of a question.

“No.” He did have some extreme emotion for Lev, that was true... but it was the opposite of hate, much to his chagrin.

“You don’t think I’m disgusting.”

“ _No._ ” Again, quite the opposite.

“You don’t want me to stop talking to you.”

“No!” How did he manage to get this idea of Yaku that was so wrong?

“...Do you promise?”

Yaku grimaced at how small and vulnerable he sounded. “I promise, Lev.”

“Okay. Thank you, Yaku.”

“No problem. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Yaku hung up the phone and stared up at his ceiling, his chest aching. If anyone was the disgusting one here, it was Yaku, developing a crush on his poor, vulnerable underclassman. He wondered what Lev would say if he knew how much Yaku _didn’t_ hate him.

 

iii.

Yaku was able to, and had, slept through any phone alarm known to man. Waking up at noon, having accidentally skipped his morning classes, was horribly common. But if there was one sound that could reliably wake him up, it was the sound of an incoming Skype call. That noise meant Lev. Yaku would rise from the dead for Lev.

He clambered out of bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, heading directly for the computer. Glancing over at his phone, charging next to his laptop, he saw it was 4am. There was only one of two things this could be: a booty call or a nightmare call. He sincerely hoped it was the former.

Luck was rarely on Yaku’s side. He answered the video call to see Lev, tear-stained and wibbly-lipped, appear before him.

“Hey,” Yaku said, his voice gravelly. “Nightmare?”

Lev nodded and sniffed loudly. “You died. Got hit by a train on the way to class.”

“I don’t even cross any train tracks to get to class, Lev.”

“How am I supposed to know that?” he whined.

Yaku sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “I promise, I’m okay. All here. Not hit by an impossible train.”

Lev nodded and sniffed again. “...D-did I wake you up?”

Yaku hummed in the affirmative, and Lev’s pathetic frown deepened. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he replied, yawning. “I got to see your cute face.”

“I’m not very cute right now, though.”

He really wasn’t. Lev was a supremely ugly crier... which was cute in its own way. (Or at least Yaku thought so.) “Yeah you are,” he said, honestly, and smiled lazily at the screen.

Lev smiled back, although it was a watery, weak smile. “I love you, Yaku.”

“Love you too.”

It wasn’t until Yaku disconnected the call, closed his laptop, and crawled back into bed that he realized that that was the first time he had said it out loud.

 

iv.

“Ow! Whaddafuh...?” Yaku mumbled sleepily, waking up abruptly as a sharp elbow jabbed him hard in the ribs. He rolled over in bed just in time to be smacked in the face with a long arm.

“Lev!” he squawked, and shoved at his boyfriend, angry at being woken up so abruptly at -- he squinted at the digital clock on the bedside table -- 4:49 AM. It took a few more shoves and shakes to wake him up, but when he did, the annoyance Yaku felt melted away to concern, as Lev started crying.

“Hey, it’s okay, shh,” Yaku muttered, rubbing Lev’s shoulder. He still had some annoyance over being literally smacked awake, but he could shelve that for now. “Nightmare?”

Lev nodded, burying his face into Yaku’s shoulder. He could immediately feel wetness seep through the cloth there, and he grimaced a little. “Kuroo was going to stab me... I missed a receive at the interhigh...”

“What the hell is up with your dreams...?” Yaku wondered quietly, but rubbed Lev’s back. “It’s okay. I’m safe. You’re safe. We’re all safe. You don’t even play on the same team as Kuroo anymore.”

“I know.”

“Also, he wouldn’t stab you.”

“...I know.”

They laid like that, Lev curled up into Yaku’s shoulder, Yaku with his arms around Lev’s back and holding him close, until they both fell back asleep. It was something that, not even a year ago, both of them would’ve considered a luxury. Now, with Lev having moved his stuff into Yaku’s apartment officially -- although it was really only a formality, with 80% of Lev’s stuff having already found a place there anyways -- being woken up in the middle of the night by his flailing boyfriend was just an annoyance.

 

v.

He forgot to turn his phone on silent, Yaku realized blearily as he woke with a start. His phone was buzzing angrily on his bedside table, shuddering towards the edge. He considered letting it ring.

When his eyes focused, he read the name on the screen: “Lev”. His hand shot out from where it was knotted in his blankets and he grabbed the phone.

“Hello?” Yaku winced at his own voice. He sounded like he had been gargling with acid... which, given how much whiskey he had slammed back that night at the bar, wasn’t too far from the truth.

“Hey.” Lev’s voice was quiet, almost too quiet. “Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry.”

Yaku rolled onto his back. It felt weird to hear his voice again. “It’s okay. What’s up? How are you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” There was a pause on the other end of the phone, and then a quiet scoff of a laugh. “Sorry, I just...”

“Nightmare?”

“Yeah. Habit. Sorry.”

Yaku let out a sigh into the phone. Lev had always been prone to nightmares... and ever since that time at training camp, centuries ago, Yaku had been the one he had come to for comfort.

Up until about four months ago, anyways.

“This... this is weird, isn’t it?” There was a distinct lack of emotion in Lev’s voice. There was no vigour, no life. Just like he was reading lines someone else had given him.

“No, it’s okay,” Yaku said, maybe a bit too quickly. “Um... d’you wanna talk about it, or...?”

“No, not really.” He heard Lev take a deep breath. “Just... needed to check in.”

“No one stabbed me, don’t worry,” he chuckled, with no real mirth.

Lev returned the false laugh, politely. “It... was more of a... self-inflicted thing.”

“...Oh.”

“Yeah. I... I’ll talk to you later, okay? Night.”

The line went dead before Yaku could reply, before he could reassure Lev that his nightmare was unlikely to happen. Not impossible, but... unlikely.

_“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”_

Yaku set his phone back on his bedside table, fighting to keep that gnawing darkness down in his gut where it belonged. He didn’t know if that was just another formality, or an actual promise, but... he wanted to believe that this was a sign of change. He wanted to belive that maybe they could be friends, after all.

 

0.

Cold panic gripped Yaku, and he woke up with a gasp, like he was surfacing from water. His heart pounded hard in his chest, making his head and fingertips throb. His eyes were wet.

It was just a dream. Just...

He turned sharply to look over to his right, expecting to see his nightmare come true. But instead, he saw his boyfriend, awake and staring at him, alarmed.

“Yaku?” he asked softly, hesitantly.

The wetness in his eyes turned hot and achy, and his throat knotted up. Before he could stop himself, Yaku dived onto Lev’s chest, burying his face there. He took a deep, shaky breath, partially to calm himself and partially to inhale Lev’s scent. He needed to confirm with another one of his senses that he was _real_ and _here_. He was in his life again and in his bed again and not walking out the front door, leaving Yaku behind. Not again.

A large, warm, familiar hand came to rub reassuringly across his back. “It’s okay, Yaku. I’m here. I’ll be here tomorrow, too. And the day after that, and the day after that, too.”

He wanted to believe him. He really, truly did. But the dream was so sharp, so fresh in his mind, and his memories of waking up in an empty bed weren’t that distant. There was no guarantee that Lev was here to stay this time.

But, he wanted so, so badly to believe.

Yaku looked up at Lev, searching out his pale eyes in the dim moonlight. “...Promise?” he asked quietly, almost inaudibly.

Lev smiled at him, and wrapped his arms around him, pulling Yaku closer to his chest. “I promise.”

Lying there, with the calm familiar thump of Lev’s heartbeat sounding in his ear, Yaku believed him. And when he fell back asleep, he didn’t have any more nightmares.


End file.
